So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
