It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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