I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
