i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
