Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Randomize