My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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