you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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