go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
