dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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