Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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