Taylor Swift is so right about you.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
