The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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