I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
