There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize