Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
