it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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