Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
