Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize
