smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
