All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
We're too hungover to prance.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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