My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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