I'm gonna have a badass scar
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
