if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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