So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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