There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my poor anus
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize