Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
