Got a toothbrush?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
tequila makes me forget i have legs
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
