1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
