Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
