I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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