I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
