I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
