I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
The power of my boobs compel you
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize