Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
