Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
