i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
