i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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