3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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