I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
