I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
