Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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