I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
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Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
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I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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