ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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