Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
