So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
