Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
