we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
