Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
