My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Randomize
