i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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