i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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