I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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