I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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