Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
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I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
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like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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