i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
