Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
