We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
