I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Randomize