This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i would punch a child for taco bell
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
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