Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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