So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
