S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
