Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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