You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
