What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
In other news, I just burned my penis
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
