What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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